**Something different this time, introducing characters, experimenting around!**
The Bridge! That’s where it had all started and that’s where she was headed to. Very unusual of her to do so, but today was no ordinary day even. Overlooking the distant banks of the river, watching over serpentine traffic striken roads beneath, amidst strong gushes of wind and overlooked by the bejewelled sky at this time of the hour, the bridge was the last place Ananya wanted to be at to calm her mind down, but then again, who can control the fused up brain? An year and half back, she was introduced to this place by a close friend. It was raining then. Fierce raindrops pelting down, as the wind jostled their descent from heavens above. And the only umbrella they had then had flown up and away a long time back. It was not abnormal of rains being so fierce in this city, but its occurence at this time of the year was definitely not expected of. Rains always brought out the child in her. And even as her friend started looking out for a shelter, Ananya could never get enough of the rains and savoured every bit of it. It was well after the rains had stopped and she was shuddering that she started looking out for her friend, who was now feeling quite comfortable devouring a plate full of hot pakodas and steamy tea. The ethereal happiness that they respectively had in their eyes was symbolic of how different yet so very special this friendship was meant to be.
It was raining today too. Just that the night made it a bit dark and the unknown people around made it much more comfortable. Though the entire walkway running parallel to the bridge was desolated, she found a cozy corner under a flickering streetlight, parked the moped and stood watching the river flow below. She had a lot to contemplate, a lot to think of, a lot to resolve and a lot to reflect upon. But just like the river below, the river inside was shaken and muddied, thus betraying the reality behind her own thoughts. The past year appeared like a haze and haze it had been, passing out at a really fast pace. Leaving college and all those people behind had been a real pain. But the new world and new people had been more than welcoming, not to mention the few friends for life that had been added to the list. Life was moving fast, shifting from the cool college classrooms to the decision making and problem solving boardrooms of the corporate life. Doing something that you like brings out the best in you, and doing it with people you are comfortable with is like the cherry on the cake, and this was the best development Ananya wanted to stay on forever. Things had been changing, priorities had been redefined, new goals, new aspirations. But the only thing that didn’t change was her habit of venturing out alone, both personally and professionally. A habit which is often looked upon as being too haughty and illogical and negative by many, was something she could never convince people of. And could also never acknowledge the pain this habit brought along.
But the imbroglio brewing in her mind tonight was different. So entrenched was she with the idea of Romanticism that she could never come to terms with the fact that anything in extreme may eventually harm you in the long run. Emotions and belongingness to someone was something she could never imagine as being mediocre. It always had to be either zero or 1, nothing in between. The turmoil tonight was related to a resolve made long back of being a recluse. Some experiences and people have the power of either making you comfortable enough to be an open book for anyone who wanted to read your mind, while some others leave gashes deep enough on your being to make you shut off permenantly from the World around. It had been the second case when the resolve was made. And today, as she mused and weighed down all the things that were on stake, it was sheer dilemma. On one hand there were people, very random, mere acquaintances to say the best, who look out for you to ensure that you are doing just fine- very subtle gestures to ensure you reach home properly or whether you eat or not or sometimes trying to look beyond that veneer of mocking flashy smile you carry and gauge whether you are really okay. On the other hand, flashing across the pitch dark night were memories of people, who once meant a lot and were loved endlessly, yet didn’t even think once before devouring your soul. People who walked in at times when it was all a fresh start and just walked out someday, when things were really trying to gel up. And somehow what added more weightage to the resolve today was the sudden realization that somewhere, somehow carrying around that “I don’t care what you think of me” attitude was slowly sinking into those few relations that were very close. Repurcussions being felt in closest of people too. Sometimes it’s okay to be a rebel and shut off jerks who do nothing else apart from bringing out the devil in you. But when you yourself go around destroying the best of people life ever gifted to you, it somehow means something’s terribly wrong. Ananya’s mind couldn’t just stop analyzing the different “if’s” and “but’s” that had marked all such incidents during the last couple of months and all conclusions were pointing to just one thing- do not fight yourself all alone!
Human mind is a perfect trickster. It doesn’t want to believe in things that do not please it. Murphy’s law- “If something has to go wrong, it probably will”. If you try convincing that inner voice that “Hey look! If you continue doing this, life’s going to be a mess!”, it will fire back Murphy’s law onto you, tempting your bravado, and asking you to take the risk anyway. People say that things like taking risks and outlandishly shunning normality are illogical, but frankly speaking, the brain doesn’t get to decide what to do and what not. It provides a frank and unbiased opinion of the situation and actually it is the inner voice that gets to decide. So be it knowingly shutting off those sweet souls who look out for you every now and then or convincing yourself of the intact genuineness of your heroes/mentors in personal/professional life who seem to have failed you, the mind does what it deems fit, without giving even one cent to actual facts and figures. Such was the turmoil brewing inside Ananya’s mind today, that all those real world things seemed totally illogical. As the night ripened, bringing the constellations to life now that the clouds had parted, the flickering lights looked like telling a story only she could understand. Uncertainties and chaos may look intimidating at first, but eventually it will all make sense. But for now, just like all these stories and all the characters inside them and all the situations they deal with, all this chaos was worth of was the wonderful, wonderful experience it provided. We fall, we get hurt, we rise, we learn, we try something new and we fall again. But that’s how life goes- personally and professionally. And somehow, it doesn’t matter what attitude you carry. What counts is how willing you are to savor all these endless trials in fire until you reach the epitome of perfection. And perhaps today, that was all Ananya could do to make peace with the turmoil inside..!