Sometimes in life we so easily under-estimate as well as over rate some of the feelings which life has to offer. One such feeling which I experience to the limit that it gives me back flamboyant moments to cherish as well as punishes me to the extent that I have the devilish urge to destroy it all is something which toggles between solitude and loneliness (Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle again!). The kind of feeling which I’m going through right now and which almost everyone goes through one time or the other unless you have been blessed with an unnatural over peaceful sleep!
And then you start experimenting, say, trying to make an under-cooked and over-watery maggi (depends on your culinary skills, these are mine!), or thinking deep about how Atlas would be bearing out the weight of the entire Earth on his shoulders. This is solitude. But then, you also try exploiting your destiny imposed freedom some more and step ahead and walk on a hell-busy, accident prone road, all un-braced. This madness definitely has to be associated with loneliness. And you do this not to mock that caring one, but to prove it to her/him that you too are not careless.
Or perhaps you play with the nascent fire and observe..observe it inching deep inside that deep cave which for quite some time had been way too dark and watch it brighten up. Witness an entire new solar system being discovered. At the same time, you do not hesitate neither do you flinch a bit while caressing that naked fire as it slowly brings to light all those dark thoughts, all trusted upon you due to the magnifying guilt-of broken hearts and promises, smitten desires and dreams and severed friendships. Solitude and loneliness respectively.
As you watch the Moon with unabridged passion and remember your sweetheart with similar characteristics- always there yet unreachable; you also the very next moment question your destiny as to why that person had to be the one when it was never ever mentioned on the criss cross lines on your hand or the folds on your forehead for us two to be together ever! Manifestations of solitude and loneliness again.
Every time when the World sleeps around, either of these feelings pitch on your mind and create records whenever they walk onto the crease. Which ones you want to cling on, its all your call!
I walked on the road off guard, played with the nascent fire, yearned for that lovely love and cooked up stupid things and this is what I up landed with-
“..Love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you..” (Letters to a young Poet)
“Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it ache with sorrow” (Khalil Gibran)
Seems apt, right?